7 Tips for Being More Assertive at Work
In the workplace, assertiveness can be challenging, especially for women. While women are often expected to be more passive and accommodating to others' ideas, assertiveness is a critical skill that is essential to career advancement.
This post will discuss 7 tips to empower women be more assertive at work. These tips will enable you to take charge of your professional development and achieve your goals, from learning how to communicate effectively to setting boundaries. Whether you are a new employee or an experienced professional, these tips can support you in building the confidence and skills you need to succeed.
What does it mean to be assertive at work?
Being assertive at work means communicating your wants and needs clearly and directly without being aggressive or passive. It involves standing up for yourself and your ideas in a professional and respectful manner while being open to feedback and compromise. When you are assertive at work, you can build strong relationships, be heard, and achieve your goals.
What’s getting in the way of women being assertive in the workplace?
A variety of factors can influence women's lack of assertiveness at work. Some of these include:
Socialisation: Girls are often taught to be more passive and accommodating from a young age, while boys are encouraged to be more assertive. The impact of this can persist into adulthood and affect how women communicate and behave at work.
Gender stereotypes: Women are often stereotyped as nurturing and cooperative, while men are stereotyped as assertive and competitive. Women may have difficulty asserting themselves appropriately because of these stereotypes.
Fear of backlash: Women who assert themselves may be considered "bossy" or "difficult" by others and may fear being passed over for promotions or being less liked.
Bias in the workplace: Research shows that women's ideas and contributions are often ignored or undervalued and less likely to be promoted. It can be difficult for women to assert themselves and be heard because of this.
Work-life balance: Women tend to do more work at home, making it more challenging to assert themselves at work.
Culture, industry and even the specific workplace can affect these factors, but they can be overcome with the right attiture, training, and support.
Why is assertiveness necessary for women in the workplace?
Being assertive is essential for women in the workplace for several reasons:
Being heard: Being assertive allows women to make their voices heard and ensures that their ideas and contributions are considered.
Professional growth: Communicating accomplishments, goals and interest in new opportunities with assertiveness can help you get recognised and promoted.
Setting boundaries: Being assertive helps set boundaries and communicate expectations, which leads to better work-life balance and less burnout.
Building strong relationships: By encouraging open and honest communication, assertiveness fosters stronger relationships with colleagues and managers.
Making a positive impact: Being assertive helps you advocate for yourself and others, which can lead to positive workplace changes.
Overcoming unconscious bias: In many workplaces, unconscious bias exists, but assertiveness can help to eliminate it and make the workplace more equitable and inclusive.
Decision making: The ability to assert yourself can support your ability to make decisions that align with your values, goals, and priorities.
Ultimately, assertive women can overcome barriers that stand in their way of success and strive to receive the recognition and opportunities they deserve.
What are the 5 assertive behaviours I need to cultivate at work?
Being assertive and respectful at the same time can be challenging, but it is possible. Here are five assertive behaviours to cultivate at work:
Communicate clearly and directly: Make your thoughts, feelings, and needs clear and direct without being vague or passive.
Setting boundaries: Setting limits, communicating your expectations, and saying "no" when appropriate.
Being confident: Having faith in yourself and your abilities and standing up for what you believe in.
Being open to feedback: Being willing to consider and incorporate other people's perspectives.
Self-advocacy: Promoting your interests without being aggressive or intimidating by advocating for yourself.
It is important to remember that assertiveness is not the same as aggression, nor is it about winning. A respectful approach to assertiveness enables you to effectively advocate for yourself while also building respect and trust among colleagues and management.
How can I be more assertive at work?
Here are my seven top tips to boost your assertiveness:
Recognise your value: Establishing a realistic and respectful perspective on your value is key to becoming more assertive. It is common for women to attribute their failures to internal flaws ("I'm just not good at this, no matter how hard I try") and their successes to luck ("That turned out well because it was easier than everyone thought it would be"), leading to self-doubt and potential worthlessness. Take a moment to consider what you bring to the workplace. Try to mute any internal criticism that scrutinises your flaws, mistakes, and failures. These thoughts can evoke shame and obscure your ability to see your strengths. Take a balanced inventory of how you have performed at work, noting both the positive things you have accomplished and what you might do better.
Speak up in meetings: It's crucial to express yourself even if your viewpoint differs from others, but keep in mind that being too forceful when asserting yourself can lead to dismissal of your ideas. Therefore, it's essential to consider your language and tone while communicating. For example, instead of stating "that's not a good idea," you could consider phrasing it as "I have a different perspective, and we might want to consider an alternative approach" or "While I appreciate your proposal, have you also considered this alternative?".
Use "I" statements: Express your feelings, needs, and opinions instead of blaming others. For example, instead of saying "You're wrong," tell them "I disagree."
Set clear boundaries: Be assertive in communicating your availability, workload, and expectations with your colleagues and managers. As an example, you might say, "I'm only available before 10am and after 3pm, and I need at least a day's notice to prepare for them."
Use confident body language: By looking confident, you will appear self-assured and assertive to your colleagues. Maintain eye contact, smile, stand tall, chest out, head up, and keep your shoulders back. Be mindful of your proximity when talking to others and don't invade their space. Make sure your arms, hands, and gestures are relaxed.
Manage your emotions: You need to be comfortable with all emotions - both negative and positive - including anger, jealousy and rage. You can learn to control your feelings in the moment by not being scared of them or suppressing them. Don't let challenging emotions overwhelm you. Try sitting with the discomfort, identifying what you're feeling, expressing it, and unpicking it.
Practice assertiveness in low-risk situations: A confrontation with your boss does not have to be the start of your assertive journey. You can start small and practice assertive behaviour in low-risk situations. As a first step, practice your assertiveness in your journal, with your coach, or in close relationships before being assertive at work. Imagine trying to explain something difficult to your co-worker or boss. Consider the following questions: What is my goal? What is the message I want to convey? Play out both the ideal and the most frightening scenario in your mind. You might find it helpful to discuss it with a loved one who is willing to role-play. Practice what you would like to say aloud. If you don't, you might get tongue-tied and give up when the moment comes. Rehearse the things that are sometimes difficult for you to say (for instance, "No, I can't," or "That makes me uncomfortable").
In conclusion, assertiveness is an important skill that can enable women succeed in the workplace by allowing them to be heard, respected, and respected. By speaking up, using "I" statements, being confident, and standing up for ourselves, we can assert ourselves in the workplace and succeed. Remember to practice assertiveness, it's a skill that can be learned and improved upon with time.
Next steps
If you're searching for a tailored coaching programme to enhance your assertiveness skills, look no further. My unique programme is geared towards empowering women to improve their assertiveness in the workplace. By partnering with a coach, you'll acquire the knowledge, tools, and encouragement necessary to effectively communicate, establish boundaries, and promote yourself. Take the first step towards achieving your goals and invest in yourself by enrolling in my personalised coaching programme today!
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Not sure if this programme is the right fit for you? No problem! I invite you to learn more about how my coaching can support you overcome your workplace challenges and grow your assertiveness skills.
